Until you’ve had hot wax poured all over your crotch…

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So I’m a girl with a penchant for gossip magazines, trade blogs and an odd collection of stolen menus from random restaurants (If you tell I swear I will deny deny deny)

One of my favorite magazines is Esquire…and just like an 18 year old boy eventually matures his reading habits and finds there are good articles behind the T&A of a Playboy…I recently discovered that it’s a genuinely well written magazine.

* blushes*

One of my favorite pieces is “10 Things You Don’t Know About Women” written by various A & B list celebrity women of the world. Below is a link to some of the best, taken from Andrea’s Shoe Closet ( http://alpowellshoes.spaces.live.com/)

Enjoy:

Every month in Esquire, a well-known woman writes a list of “10 Things You Don’t Know About Women.” These are some of my favorites in no particular order!

Sela Ward

• Women really do want to be on time. It’s just that everything starts so darned early.
• We really do like to cook. It’s just that we cooked so much for our boyfriends before we got married that we’re sick of being in the kitchen. Sorry you missed it.
• Men are free to think they’re the boss, as long as they know we’re the chairman of the board.

Jennifer Coolidge

• Shaving down there doesn’t make your equipment look any bigger. It does make it more manageable, however, which improves the chances of us admiring your manscaping.
• Short of spending $10,000, there is nothing you can do to your head to hide the fact that you’re going bald. If you’re spraying your hair on from an aerosol can, chances are we can tell. Unless you’re going to shell out the cash to do it right, just let it go.

Kyra Sedgwick

• Before you accuse a woman of being bitchy, walk a mile in her shoes. Her pointy-toed, high-heeled, impossibly uncomfortable shoes.
• One more thing about the shoes: Most of them hurt too much to wear for too long. So, yes, we really do need that many pairs. (And, accordingly, you need us to have them.)
• Our friends are not your enemies, and our enemies better not be your friends.

Liz Vassey

• Go for the girl who can eat a proper meal. If she’s passionate about food, you’ll most likely be fortunate in other venues.

Annabeth Gish

• If you tell us that playing Halo 2 improves the dexterity of your fingers, you’d better be able to prove it.
• Watching football for three hours on a Sunday is sufficiently masculine. Watching football for nine hours is obsessive and weird.
• Chivalry does not emasculate you or make you our bitch.

Alyssa Milano

• No matter how much your woman loves you, there are going to be three to seven days each month when she wants you dead. (She may even quietly fantasize about turning her eyelash curler against you.) You have two options: Tie yourself to a tree and wait out the storm, or stock up at Tiffany’s, toss a blue box or two into the wind, and hope for the best. We recommend the latter. (The key chain doesn’t count.)

Dana Delany

• A private plane will not make up for the fact that you have bad breath.
• We like younger men for the same reasons you like younger women: stamina and skin.
• There are two spots on women that need to be touched more: the back of the neck and the lower back. Fireworks.
• Never send red roses. That’s such a cliché. A simple wildflower will get you where you want to be.

Courteney Cox

• You don’t get a vote in the preferred shape of our pubic hair. Until you’ve had hot wax poured all over your crotch, you’re merely a passenger on that flight.

Pam Grier

• It doesn’t matter if you have an M.B.A. from some fancy school; as long as you have ragged cuticles, dandruff, and a chipped tooth, you’ll be getting no action. It’s time to start paying attention.

Mariska Hargitay

• It’s not the size of the bed that matters; it’s the thread count.
• We are all about our necks. Feel free to spend as much time there as you wish.

Christina Applegate

• Guys who go to Hooters to watch the game are usually the same guys who go to lunch at strip clubs for the free chicken- fried steak. Don’t be one of those guys.

Jill A. Davis

• We don’t ever want to see the inside of an Olive Garden.
• Have we ever mentioned how grateful we are that we don’t have to shave our faces once a day, every day, for fifty years?
• Boxers or briefs? Who cares, as long as they’re clean and you know how to take ‘em off to music.

Random Everyday Women

• Not all of us want marriage and babies. Some of us just want orgasms and dogs.
• The vast majority of women are digging for appreciation, not gold.
• Your Game Boy/PlayStation/Xbox obsession? It makes our shoe-shopping habit look like a nobler pursuit than peace in the Middle East.
• Raise your criteria beyond our faces and figures and we’ll raise ours beyond your bank account.
• We’re mostly jealous of the women we look at, not the women you look at.
• We’re capable of sex without commitment, too. It’s just that you’re happy with one inebriated night of it and we prefer 9 1/2 weeks of it–sordid, aggressive, and gratuitous.

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Tags: 10 things you don't know about women, Alyssa Milano, Annabeth Gish, cooking, courtyney cox, Dana Delany, esquire magazine, Jennifer Coolidge, Jill A. Davis, kitchen, Kyra Sedgwick, Olive Garden, relationships, sela ward, wildflower, xbox