Looks like someone has a case of the Monday’s

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So this is how my day began:

1. Hit snooze button 11 times and convinced myself that if I didn’t wash my hair or iron my dress, I could save an entire 30 minutes.
2. Neglected to notice on Friday that I used my last coffee pod, so I threw a temper tantrum in my kitchen with an empty coffee mug in my hand
3. Broke said coffee mug
4. Not really, but it wouldn’t suprise me
5. Slipped down the last three stairs and awarded myself with one ass cheek the color of an eggplant. That’s right fellas, line up
6. Set the burglar alarm off at work
7. Attempted to grind coffee beans for the first time (since I was the first one there) forgot to put the top on, and sprayed the kitchen with coffee bean confetti
8. Threw a temper tantrum in the kitchen with an empty coffee mug in my hand
9. Spilled soy sauce all over my lunch bag, when the top came unscrewed
10. Found out that I have been calling a co-worker by the wrong name for the past week. And they aren’t even close to being similar. Think Betty to Alfred

So…my monday began with a bang.

I’m ending it like this:

1. Threw my wrinkled dress somewhere across the room, to be found sometime later this week
2. Martini
3. Luxurious bubble bath with the finest Mr. Bubble has to offer
4. Martini
5. Advil
6. Smile

Get ready Tuesday, Ima comming with bells on.

And a martini.

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Tags: alarm, Bubble bath, crap, Martini, Monday, sleep, Tuesday